12/24/2011
A Donkey, A Stinky Stable, and A Savior
Over the last few weeks, God has been bringing to my attention (or banging me upside the head quite a few times) the real meaning of Christmas. Yes I know Christ's birth, but I guess I've never stopped to really fully focus on His birth. The last few weeks God has been showing me amazing things about Elizabeth, Mary, Joseph, and even the birth itself. Reflecting on my own pregnancies and others around me who have just given birth, I remembered just how uncomfortable I was. With each pregnancy it's as though I was bigger than the last. I remember that the bigger I got, the more uncomfortable I became. Can you imagine Mary, this young girl around 15, on this donkey traveling to Bethlehem? For not just a few hours, because as you can imagine how fast a donkey can walk, but for a few days, weeks. Ouch is all I have to say! lol Imagine though, as Mary and Joseph, tired from their journey, finally found a place to stay, this wet, dirty, smelly stable. Imagine Mary holding Jesus for the first time, looking into the eyes of her Savior. Our Savior. Oh what it must have been like to hold Him, snuggle Him, and love Him. All the events surrounding Christ's birth from Elizabeth getting pregnant at an old age, John the baptist jumping in her womb at the presence of Jesus in Mary's womb, to the donkey ride, humble stable birth to God telling Joseph to flee, stay in Egypt, and then flee again to Nazareth. What an amazing God we serve. I can't even imagine the love that He has for me. To look back on my own life and see where God orchestrated my own life. I've been reading a book and it just touches on how great His love for us is. This is Nancy Leigh DeMoss quoting Hannah Whitnall Smith, "Put together all the tenderest love you know of, the deepest you have ever felt, and the strongest that has ever been poured out upon you, and heap upon it all the love of all the loving human hearts in the world and then multiply it by infinity, and you will begin, perhaps, to have some faint glimpse of what the love of God is."Wow! All that and it's just a faint glimpse. I can't imagine how much God loves me, but I know that He does because He sent His Son to cover my sins, past, present, future, so that I will be able to be with Him in heaven. I am constantly blown away by what God is showing me. What an amazing God I serve. An amazing Papa. So as the rest of December comes to a close, I'll continue to reflect and ponder on what Christmas is all about. It's not the presents or the pressure to buy a present. It's not the prefect dinner or the "peaceful" day. It's about celebrating Christ coming down to earth in human flesh to die for me so that I don't spend an eternity without Him. Oh Papa. How overly joyful I am to know that I will not spend my eternity separated from You because of You.
10/23/2011
Hi. My name is Martha, and I'm a servaholic..
We all remember the story of Mary and Martha.. dear Martha is cleaning and cooking and doing everything to make Jesus' visit perfect. She wants him to have a good meal and enjoy sitting in their home without dust and bugs and garbage and anything else that may be dirty around the house. (not directly talking about my own house) All the while Mary is sitting on the ground listening to Jesus talk. Can you imagine what Martha was thinking though? "Oh there's that Mary again.. doing nothing as I do all the cooking and cleaning, again. She doesn't care how the house looks. She doesn't care if there is food on the table! If I don't do it, who will!?" Or she could have been thinking, "Oh I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be.." lol Praising and worshipping the Lord in her head. I'm not sure, and I don't want to add to God's word, but as women we can all imagine what was going through her head. Whether she was complaining or praising, she was still serving her Papa, her Lord.
Since I can remember, I have loved to serve. I love to help others and I normally do it joyfully! My heart screams Serve! It's just who God made me to be. When Hunny left for this last deployment, a switch went off inside of me. Call it survival mode, but I felt I needed to stay busy and serve, everywhere and everyone. Doing it all on my own, I might add, without seeking God. My intentions were good... A few months ago, the Lord started showing me that although serving others is a blessing, I need to be serving my family with the same joy as I do with others, and if I am not filled up and running on fumes, I can't give to my family what they need from me. The business of life and the need to serve, to feel needed overcame me this last year. So, over the last few months, I have pulled out of everything except church and Ladies Bible Study. God's been showing me that I have to be filled up with Him in order to give out to my family and that I need to be in His will while doing it. I have to also be filled up daily in Him by reading His Love Letter in order to be able to put on Christ and serve my family. It's not a slave type serving, but serving them out of love and obedience to God. There are days when I just don't want to clean the house, make dinner or get out of bed, but I do because I am serving my Papa. :) There are days when I just don't want to be understanding, loving, patient, kind, selfless, or anything remotely imitating Christ, but I am to put on Christ every day. It's challenging for me not to be out there serving in everything, but I have seen what it's like when I am running on fumes with my family. Yikes! But God is so good and I am also able to see the effects of me serving my family when I am full in Him. Outpouring to my family! I'd be lying if I said I was pleasant all the time and had healthy meals on the table and my house was always clean. That kind of thing is for Mrs. Cleaver. lol. I want to serve my Papa by taking care of the family and the house the Lord has provided to the best of the ability God has given me. I see that unattainable Proverbs 31 woman. I get intimidated by her at times. But God didn't make us all the same. He didn't make me to be this perfect woman who always does everything right. He didn't make me a robot. I am who He made me to be. He blew out the sand to find the jewel, a jewel I am still finding. I know that my Papa is shaping me and molding me into the woman, wife, and mother he wants me to be. So in saying all of that, this Martha is still serving, but taking a Mary approach. Because when you think about it, you can't fully serve until you are sitting at your Papa's feet.
Since I can remember, I have loved to serve. I love to help others and I normally do it joyfully! My heart screams Serve! It's just who God made me to be. When Hunny left for this last deployment, a switch went off inside of me. Call it survival mode, but I felt I needed to stay busy and serve, everywhere and everyone. Doing it all on my own, I might add, without seeking God. My intentions were good... A few months ago, the Lord started showing me that although serving others is a blessing, I need to be serving my family with the same joy as I do with others, and if I am not filled up and running on fumes, I can't give to my family what they need from me. The business of life and the need to serve, to feel needed overcame me this last year. So, over the last few months, I have pulled out of everything except church and Ladies Bible Study. God's been showing me that I have to be filled up with Him in order to give out to my family and that I need to be in His will while doing it. I have to also be filled up daily in Him by reading His Love Letter in order to be able to put on Christ and serve my family. It's not a slave type serving, but serving them out of love and obedience to God. There are days when I just don't want to clean the house, make dinner or get out of bed, but I do because I am serving my Papa. :) There are days when I just don't want to be understanding, loving, patient, kind, selfless, or anything remotely imitating Christ, but I am to put on Christ every day. It's challenging for me not to be out there serving in everything, but I have seen what it's like when I am running on fumes with my family. Yikes! But God is so good and I am also able to see the effects of me serving my family when I am full in Him. Outpouring to my family! I'd be lying if I said I was pleasant all the time and had healthy meals on the table and my house was always clean. That kind of thing is for Mrs. Cleaver. lol. I want to serve my Papa by taking care of the family and the house the Lord has provided to the best of the ability God has given me. I see that unattainable Proverbs 31 woman. I get intimidated by her at times. But God didn't make us all the same. He didn't make me to be this perfect woman who always does everything right. He didn't make me a robot. I am who He made me to be. He blew out the sand to find the jewel, a jewel I am still finding. I know that my Papa is shaping me and molding me into the woman, wife, and mother he wants me to be. So in saying all of that, this Martha is still serving, but taking a Mary approach. Because when you think about it, you can't fully serve until you are sitting at your Papa's feet.
9/14/2011
Father Filtered and Sitting at Jesus' Feet
Recently we started going to a new church. I am so excited about the church we go to. They read straight through the Bible, book by book, chapter by chapter, verse by verse. So whether you are a young believer or an old believer, it doesn't matter. There's no topical messages, just God's Word. I have a few favorite sayings from the pastor.. "Everything is Father-Filtered" and "Come and sit at the feet of Jesus".
"Father Filtered". Just think about that a moment. Everything that happens to us has already gone through the Father. So the trials we are going through or the joys we are going through have all gone through the Father before they even touch us. What an amazing Father we have. A Father who will turn the tragedies into the triumphs. He's able to use both bad and good to bring glory to His name. For so long I looked at trials as burdens. I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had a "Why Me?" attitude. Then I learned about Father Filtered. I don't see the trials as burdensome. I look at the trials in my life and say, "What can I learn from this? How is God going to use me or grow me so that at the end He can use me to be a blessing to others?" Rejoice in the trials as well as the joys because we know that it's already gone through the Father. Which is why it makes sense then to Come and Sit at the Feet of Jesus. We can come to our Papa and sit at His feet in trials and joys alike because He already knows what's going to happen. He already knows what we are going to learn and how he is going to use it to bring us closer to Him. He knows how he is going to use our trials to reach others for Christ. So why not come to the Father, our Papa. When I think of sitting at Jesus' feet, I picture myself literally at His feet like Mary while she listened to His words. When I sit at His feet, I am relaxed, refreshed, and a huge sigh of relief or comfort washes over me. I can't quite find the words to describe it. It's like falling into the arms of my Papa as he whispers gently, "Papa has you. Everything will be ok". When I come to my Father, everything may be spinning around me, but with Him, it's as though nothing else matters except sitting at His feet, bathing in Him. I can imagine how Mary must have sat with an eagerness, a hunger while she listened and hung onto every word that Jesus said. It seems as though she just can't get enough of what Jesus is saying. That is what it's like for me when I come to my Papa, whether through my own time in the word or through listening to my pastor on Sundays, I just can't get enough! There's a peace and a joy that comes that even though the trials that I am going through or the joys I am going through are hard to understand, I know I can come and sit at my Papa's feet. I know that I can find that peace and joy through whatever comes because it's already been Father Filtered. Thank you Papa for providing a way for us to come and sit at your feet whenever we want to without having to go through another person to get to you. Thank you that I am able to be in your presence any time. Thank you for for the trials and joys that I go through because I know that by the end, I will be stretched and will be deepened in my relationship with you!!
"Father Filtered". Just think about that a moment. Everything that happens to us has already gone through the Father. So the trials we are going through or the joys we are going through have all gone through the Father before they even touch us. What an amazing Father we have. A Father who will turn the tragedies into the triumphs. He's able to use both bad and good to bring glory to His name. For so long I looked at trials as burdens. I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had a "Why Me?" attitude. Then I learned about Father Filtered. I don't see the trials as burdensome. I look at the trials in my life and say, "What can I learn from this? How is God going to use me or grow me so that at the end He can use me to be a blessing to others?" Rejoice in the trials as well as the joys because we know that it's already gone through the Father. Which is why it makes sense then to Come and Sit at the Feet of Jesus. We can come to our Papa and sit at His feet in trials and joys alike because He already knows what's going to happen. He already knows what we are going to learn and how he is going to use it to bring us closer to Him. He knows how he is going to use our trials to reach others for Christ. So why not come to the Father, our Papa. When I think of sitting at Jesus' feet, I picture myself literally at His feet like Mary while she listened to His words. When I sit at His feet, I am relaxed, refreshed, and a huge sigh of relief or comfort washes over me. I can't quite find the words to describe it. It's like falling into the arms of my Papa as he whispers gently, "Papa has you. Everything will be ok". When I come to my Father, everything may be spinning around me, but with Him, it's as though nothing else matters except sitting at His feet, bathing in Him. I can imagine how Mary must have sat with an eagerness, a hunger while she listened and hung onto every word that Jesus said. It seems as though she just can't get enough of what Jesus is saying. That is what it's like for me when I come to my Papa, whether through my own time in the word or through listening to my pastor on Sundays, I just can't get enough! There's a peace and a joy that comes that even though the trials that I am going through or the joys I am going through are hard to understand, I know I can come and sit at my Papa's feet. I know that I can find that peace and joy through whatever comes because it's already been Father Filtered. Thank you Papa for providing a way for us to come and sit at your feet whenever we want to without having to go through another person to get to you. Thank you that I am able to be in your presence any time. Thank you for for the trials and joys that I go through because I know that by the end, I will be stretched and will be deepened in my relationship with you!!
9/13/2011
Did you know that I am a Princess?
"All glorious is the princess in her chamber, with robes interwoven with gold. In many-colored robes, she is led to the king.. with joy and gladness they are led along as they enter the palace of the king." Psalms 45:13-15.
I have to admit, I stole this verse from a friend's facebook page. I loved this vision though. I am God's princess. I am in beautiful clothing, being led to meet my Papa. I know as women, we don't always see ourselves as princesses. We get up, look in the mirror, look at our imperfect bodies from bearing babies, let out a sigh, and continue on our day wishing we could just lose that extra weight. Or we look in the mirror and see puffy, red eyes that have just got done sobbing because we have let our anger get to us one more time. For some reason, we have this view of who we are supposed to be like or what we are supposed to look like. We have the world's view of this woman who has it all together, can do anything, and still has time to have a fashion sense.
Psalms 139: 13-18 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of the sand. When I awake, I am still with you."
How precious we are to our Papa. Our Savior. Our Redeemer. Our Master. Our Servant. Our Creator. How precious are we that He knit us together. He didn't just say, Poof! He took the time to gently create us, knowing every single day that we are going to live. He knows our strengths, our weaknesses, our faults, our strengths. He knows that we are going to fail. He knows we are going to succeed. He knows everything about us because He made us. He Made Us! We are so important to God. He loves us beyond what words could ever describe, so his actions said it to us.
So the next time you look in the mirror, stand there with your head held high. Remind yourself that you are God's Princess. Remind yourself that you are clothed in Christ and that it's not the outside image that matters. It's not your capabilities that matter. What matters is that you are fully, completely God's princess, perfect in His eyes. Perfect just the way God made you.
I have to admit, I stole this verse from a friend's facebook page. I loved this vision though. I am God's princess. I am in beautiful clothing, being led to meet my Papa. I know as women, we don't always see ourselves as princesses. We get up, look in the mirror, look at our imperfect bodies from bearing babies, let out a sigh, and continue on our day wishing we could just lose that extra weight. Or we look in the mirror and see puffy, red eyes that have just got done sobbing because we have let our anger get to us one more time. For some reason, we have this view of who we are supposed to be like or what we are supposed to look like. We have the world's view of this woman who has it all together, can do anything, and still has time to have a fashion sense.
Psalms 139: 13-18 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of the sand. When I awake, I am still with you."
How precious we are to our Papa. Our Savior. Our Redeemer. Our Master. Our Servant. Our Creator. How precious are we that He knit us together. He didn't just say, Poof! He took the time to gently create us, knowing every single day that we are going to live. He knows our strengths, our weaknesses, our faults, our strengths. He knows that we are going to fail. He knows we are going to succeed. He knows everything about us because He made us. He Made Us! We are so important to God. He loves us beyond what words could ever describe, so his actions said it to us.
So the next time you look in the mirror, stand there with your head held high. Remind yourself that you are God's Princess. Remind yourself that you are clothed in Christ and that it's not the outside image that matters. It's not your capabilities that matter. What matters is that you are fully, completely God's princess, perfect in His eyes. Perfect just the way God made you.
9/08/2011
Mercy
As it was pointed out to me tonight, I have a blog! Oh yeah. lol. Today, while I was at Bible Study, my pastor's wife brought a passage to my attention... just a short blerb in our study on the women of the Bible. Leviticus 3:22-23 "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." This is something we have taught our children and I am so thankful that God brought that verse to my attention. I was able to then take that verse and relate it back to God with my children. I was able to teach them and show them in God's Love Letter that he is the one that gives grace and mercy to us everyday. What an amazing God we serve!
Well, in an amazing twist, I was reminded that I have a blog that I write in and I thought, well I should probably write in it. lol. So i sat down and tried to think of something funny and witty. I tried write about our recent church change. I tried to sum up my summer. Nothing seemed to fit. Then God brought this verse back to my attention. I am so thankful that he did because my day was fantastic until I went to my FRG (Family Readiness Group) meeting. I had children running all over. Children not picking out their food fast enough. Getting drinks. Finding a lost daughter of ours. All the while trying to listen to what the Rear D Commander had to say about when my Hunny would be home and how it all would go down when the soldiers come in. Mind you, trying to listen is the key seeing as I was not only dealing my own children, I was dealing with the loud roar of the adults having their own conversations over the Commander. How frustrating! Then after the meeting I had children not listening. Children throwing fits. And whatever else in between. So, after a long night of loud noises and children getting lost and not listening, I gave into my old comforts and yelled at my children. I was overwhelmed and didn't want to work at being a mom. What I really wanted to do was run away and cry myself to sleep. But God is awesome. And in the quiet of my heart, after the kids were sleeping in bed, He brought that verse into my head. When the enemy knows I am frustrated, weak, and just plain done with this deployment, God swoops in and reminds us that his mercies are new every morning. After apologies to the kids, I am encouraged that tomorrow is a new day. All excuses aside, it comes down to the simple fact of laziness for me. This whole doing what is right and good and what God wants us to is hard work. Giving in to my old nature is so much easier. That's the bottom line. For me any way. I am again, so thankful that God is a merciful God. Thank you Lord for the beautiful and encouraging reminder that tomorrow is a new day, full of your mercies and continues grace beyond what I ever deserve on my own.
Well, in an amazing twist, I was reminded that I have a blog that I write in and I thought, well I should probably write in it. lol. So i sat down and tried to think of something funny and witty. I tried write about our recent church change. I tried to sum up my summer. Nothing seemed to fit. Then God brought this verse back to my attention. I am so thankful that he did because my day was fantastic until I went to my FRG (Family Readiness Group) meeting. I had children running all over. Children not picking out their food fast enough. Getting drinks. Finding a lost daughter of ours. All the while trying to listen to what the Rear D Commander had to say about when my Hunny would be home and how it all would go down when the soldiers come in. Mind you, trying to listen is the key seeing as I was not only dealing my own children, I was dealing with the loud roar of the adults having their own conversations over the Commander. How frustrating! Then after the meeting I had children not listening. Children throwing fits. And whatever else in between. So, after a long night of loud noises and children getting lost and not listening, I gave into my old comforts and yelled at my children. I was overwhelmed and didn't want to work at being a mom. What I really wanted to do was run away and cry myself to sleep. But God is awesome. And in the quiet of my heart, after the kids were sleeping in bed, He brought that verse into my head. When the enemy knows I am frustrated, weak, and just plain done with this deployment, God swoops in and reminds us that his mercies are new every morning. After apologies to the kids, I am encouraged that tomorrow is a new day. All excuses aside, it comes down to the simple fact of laziness for me. This whole doing what is right and good and what God wants us to is hard work. Giving in to my old nature is so much easier. That's the bottom line. For me any way. I am again, so thankful that God is a merciful God. Thank you Lord for the beautiful and encouraging reminder that tomorrow is a new day, full of your mercies and continues grace beyond what I ever deserve on my own.
6/30/2011
Passion
Passion defined is:
Ardent love or affection; a strong affection or enthusiasm for an object, concept; any strongly felt emotion, such as love, hate, envy; the object of an intense desire, ardent affection, or enthusiasm; an outburst expressing intense emotion; any state of the mind in which it is affected by something external, such as perception, desire; feelings, desires or emotions, as contrasted with reason; the sufferings and death of a Christian martyr
Synonyms: passion, fervor, fire, zeal, ardor
These nouns denote powerful, intense emotion.
Passion is a deep, overwhelming emotion
Fervor is great warmth and intensity of feeling
Fire is burning passion: "In our youth our hearts were touched with fire" (Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.)
Zeal is strong, enthusiastic devotion to a cause, ideal, or goal and tireless diligence in its furtherance
Ardor is fiery intensity of feeling
Passion. We as a church, as Christians, are lacking passion. Our desire to seek after God seems to have faded in the background, into our comfortable seats at church. We stand and recite songs, er, worship, and lift our voices to the ceiling, I mean God. Then the dreaded "Meet and Great". Oh man! If I could just stay in my seat and not move, maybe no one will notice. Or I could pretend to look for something in my purse so I don't have to say hello to anyone. Ah! Finally that is over! We slouch into our seats hoping no one will make eye contact because the nursery needs workers. We get settled, grab our Bibles and wait for the passage we are reading from. We open our Bibles as we always do and try our hardest to listen to what is being taught. Unfortunately, we are preoccupied with the noises around us and with seeing who is at church that morning. "Well, I wonder where so and so is and why would that person be wearing that?" "Oh what did the pastor say? I must have missed that." As the end of the sermon gets closer, we watch carefully as the pastor finally closes his Bible and prays. We stretch our legs as we, yawning, sing our praises and hearts to the Lord. All the while looking forward to eating our dinner. WHERE IS OUR PASSION!?! WHERE IS OUR DESIRE? When did the yearning to deepen our relationship with Christ fade into the mundane act of religion? I have been that person in the seats at church. I was raised on religion and the boundaries we put on ourselves because we are too afraid to step out of our comfortable seats. I have felt this passion for a few years now. This passion and yearning and desire to seek after my Papa. To seek a relationship with Him that will take me to greater depths in stepping out on faith. At times I want to get up and shout out to everyone "WHERE IS YOUR PASSION CHURCH?!? WAKE UP!" This amazing God that we serve has rescued you! He has saved you! Stand up and shout it out to all that will hear. Show it to your kids. Show it to your neighbors. Show it to someone, anyone. This passion for Christ burns inside of me and has only recently found it's way out.
I look at my children, ages 3, 5, and 6, and see this faith and love and passion to shout it out that they LOVE God. They get so excited to share the news with others and are so excited to learn more about him. They have an eagerness within them that they can hardly wait to learn more. We read Bible stories and night and they love to hear about God. They love to pray for their hurts physical and emotional. They pray for others who are hurting. One of the prayers said in our home from our Munchkin is, "God, Bless those who love you and bless those who don't love you." God has been humbling me through my husband and our children. He has been using our children to show me that eagerness and passion and desire to learn all that I can about God. He's teaching me to step out in faith.
Oh church, oh brothers and sisters. Where is our passion? Where is our faith like a child? Where is our compassion for others? Our desire for God? I am so thankful for God's patience and long-suffering. I am so thankful for his gentleness and grace. I am so thankful that he doesn't get bored with me. I am so thankful that He loves me so much that he is pursuing me constantly! I am so thankful that I am not God because I would have given up on me a long time ago. Thank you Papa for always pursuing me and drawing me close to you! Thank you for giving me a passion and a desire and a love for you!
Ardent love or affection; a strong affection or enthusiasm for an object, concept; any strongly felt emotion, such as love, hate, envy; the object of an intense desire, ardent affection, or enthusiasm; an outburst expressing intense emotion; any state of the mind in which it is affected by something external, such as perception, desire; feelings, desires or emotions, as contrasted with reason; the sufferings and death of a Christian martyr
Synonyms: passion, fervor, fire, zeal, ardor
These nouns denote powerful, intense emotion.
Passion is a deep, overwhelming emotion
Fervor is great warmth and intensity of feeling
Fire is burning passion: "In our youth our hearts were touched with fire" (Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.)
Zeal is strong, enthusiastic devotion to a cause, ideal, or goal and tireless diligence in its furtherance
Ardor is fiery intensity of feeling
Passion. We as a church, as Christians, are lacking passion. Our desire to seek after God seems to have faded in the background, into our comfortable seats at church. We stand and recite songs, er, worship, and lift our voices to the ceiling, I mean God. Then the dreaded "Meet and Great". Oh man! If I could just stay in my seat and not move, maybe no one will notice. Or I could pretend to look for something in my purse so I don't have to say hello to anyone. Ah! Finally that is over! We slouch into our seats hoping no one will make eye contact because the nursery needs workers. We get settled, grab our Bibles and wait for the passage we are reading from. We open our Bibles as we always do and try our hardest to listen to what is being taught. Unfortunately, we are preoccupied with the noises around us and with seeing who is at church that morning. "Well, I wonder where so and so is and why would that person be wearing that?" "Oh what did the pastor say? I must have missed that." As the end of the sermon gets closer, we watch carefully as the pastor finally closes his Bible and prays. We stretch our legs as we, yawning, sing our praises and hearts to the Lord. All the while looking forward to eating our dinner. WHERE IS OUR PASSION!?! WHERE IS OUR DESIRE? When did the yearning to deepen our relationship with Christ fade into the mundane act of religion? I have been that person in the seats at church. I was raised on religion and the boundaries we put on ourselves because we are too afraid to step out of our comfortable seats. I have felt this passion for a few years now. This passion and yearning and desire to seek after my Papa. To seek a relationship with Him that will take me to greater depths in stepping out on faith. At times I want to get up and shout out to everyone "WHERE IS YOUR PASSION CHURCH?!? WAKE UP!" This amazing God that we serve has rescued you! He has saved you! Stand up and shout it out to all that will hear. Show it to your kids. Show it to your neighbors. Show it to someone, anyone. This passion for Christ burns inside of me and has only recently found it's way out.
I look at my children, ages 3, 5, and 6, and see this faith and love and passion to shout it out that they LOVE God. They get so excited to share the news with others and are so excited to learn more about him. They have an eagerness within them that they can hardly wait to learn more. We read Bible stories and night and they love to hear about God. They love to pray for their hurts physical and emotional. They pray for others who are hurting. One of the prayers said in our home from our Munchkin is, "God, Bless those who love you and bless those who don't love you." God has been humbling me through my husband and our children. He has been using our children to show me that eagerness and passion and desire to learn all that I can about God. He's teaching me to step out in faith.
Oh church, oh brothers and sisters. Where is our passion? Where is our faith like a child? Where is our compassion for others? Our desire for God? I am so thankful for God's patience and long-suffering. I am so thankful for his gentleness and grace. I am so thankful that he doesn't get bored with me. I am so thankful that He loves me so much that he is pursuing me constantly! I am so thankful that I am not God because I would have given up on me a long time ago. Thank you Papa for always pursuing me and drawing me close to you! Thank you for giving me a passion and a desire and a love for you!
4/22/2011
Munchkin's Birthday Cake!!
With help from my sister Puts.. we have finished the cake! I think it looks fantastic! I can't wait to show the birthday girl in the morning!!
4/20/2011
Partiality
"But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors" James 2:9. Wait, what did that say? When you show partiality, you are sinning? Yes. Read James 2:1-13. Go ahead.. I'll wait. I'm still waiting.. Wow!! Wasn't that just a bit convicting!? It was for me. Not only is saying that partiality is a sin, he is talking to his fellow believers! How often do we see a struggling believer that isn't doing what we think they should be doing, and we judge them and throw them to the side for someone else to take care of? I love the last verse in this passage on partiality. "For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumps over judgment." So if we show no mercy to our fellow believers, then we will recieve no mercy. How incredible is that? God is the judge, we are not. I think of how many times I have written someone off, believers and non-believers alike. How I see that they don't "fit the mold" of who I think a Christian is. And I've even thought that you had to be doing things to be able to be used by God. Reading your Bible, serving, praying, etc. I've even gone as far as judge my husband. Horrible. I know. No one is above sin. God has used my husband in the last year to humble me. Four years ago, my Hunny was deployed. Now four years ago, I wasn't looking at my husband through God's eyes. I was seeing what I wanted to see. So, I of course saw that God wasn't going to use him and that he wasn't "doing what he was supposed to be doing" to be used. While he was deployed, he became friends with a guy in his unit. He was going through a really tough time with his wife and Hunny was able to encourage him, and God was able to use Hunny to plant a seed. Fast forward to last Augst. We returned back to Fort Drum and picked up our friendship where we left off. Through going to church with his wife and God continually seeking him, He accepted the Lord as his Savior! His wife accepted Christ a year before as well. In talking with him, he goes back to the deployment and how God used Hunny to help him and show him Christ. I stood there with goose bumps and tears as I was reminded of how judgmental I was of my husband. How on earth could God use him if he wasn't "doing" what you are "supposed" to be doing. God used that to humble me a lot. God used Hunny because he was willing to be used. There's no magical, Ok, I've read my Bible, I've prayed, I've 'worked' for God and now I can be used. No, there's none of that with God. Again, He does want a personal relationship with you, which is a different topic. I was just taken back. I looked at my husband in a new way. I softened my heart towards him as the leader of our family.
In saying all of that, I want to point out that there are those who are super judgmental and there are those who are super lovey and touchy feely with how they approach believers who are in sin. It's hard to let go and let God be the Judge. There is a day when we will be judged. What we as believers are to do among believers is to come along side of them, encourage them, and carry each others burdens. We are not to be showing favoritism amongst each other whether it be because of sin, a fight we have, people arne't dressed the part, etc. We are to extend the same mercy to them as Christ has extended to us. As I've heard in my Bible study, "If I were to compare myself to people here on earth, I'm looking pretty good! But we aren't supposed to compare ourselves to other people. Compare yourself to Jesus and that's another story. I'm very sinful next to him." When we take our eyes off of Christ and onto each other, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Satan wants nothing more than to cause disunity among believers. And fellow belivers, Satan is doing a number on our churches and on our families.
I have a loved one who has been away from the Lord for 22 years. This loved one has failed time and time again. But oh believers, how I have seen God drawing this person close to Him since the walked away. Tears running down my face as I think of the long road they've been down. The choices they have made and the suffering they went through due to those choices. I remember the church turning their backs on our family and most of our family giving up on this person as well. The hurt that has gone back and forth and gaping holes that will one day be restored. This story isn't over though. After 22 long years or praying, watching, praying, loving, praying, encouraging.. our God is faithful even we are not faithful. This loved one is back with our Papa. They are seeking him with many questions and they are in love with Him. God is constantly showing me that he doesn't work on our timing. He works in His timing. He shapes and molds and is constantly teaching us, even when we are stubborn. Can't we all agree that we are stubborn often times. No matter what the sin is, whether great or large in our eyes, it is all the same in God's eyes. I am rejoicing with this person as they are continually seeing God in their life. Continually being drawn closer to Him. We all stumble, we all fall, we all struggle, we all sin. God has shown me that he never gives up on His children, na matter how far they want to hide or run away from Him. He will go to great lengths to bring his children back to him. What JOY! Praises! Praises to our Papa who shows us no partiality. Who shows us great mercy. Who loves us enough to let us make our own mistakes only to use those mistakes to bring Glory and honor to His name!! Tears of joy for the loved one who has come back to our Papa!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ65aNv28Jc
I know that I've shared this song before. But I just wanted to use it again. I am constantly failing God in all that I do. But because of God's Grace, patience, love, and sacrifice, He will always be there to pick me up, dust me off, and put me back on the right path. I fail in the area of partiality. I've not seen it until now and am working on changing it, but only with God.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FribXzqHVE
In Christ Alone
How Deep the Father's Love for Us
I know! A lot of links! I hope you are able to take the time to listen to them. I think they are amazing!
In saying all of that, I want to point out that there are those who are super judgmental and there are those who are super lovey and touchy feely with how they approach believers who are in sin. It's hard to let go and let God be the Judge. There is a day when we will be judged. What we as believers are to do among believers is to come along side of them, encourage them, and carry each others burdens. We are not to be showing favoritism amongst each other whether it be because of sin, a fight we have, people arne't dressed the part, etc. We are to extend the same mercy to them as Christ has extended to us. As I've heard in my Bible study, "If I were to compare myself to people here on earth, I'm looking pretty good! But we aren't supposed to compare ourselves to other people. Compare yourself to Jesus and that's another story. I'm very sinful next to him." When we take our eyes off of Christ and onto each other, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Satan wants nothing more than to cause disunity among believers. And fellow belivers, Satan is doing a number on our churches and on our families.
I have a loved one who has been away from the Lord for 22 years. This loved one has failed time and time again. But oh believers, how I have seen God drawing this person close to Him since the walked away. Tears running down my face as I think of the long road they've been down. The choices they have made and the suffering they went through due to those choices. I remember the church turning their backs on our family and most of our family giving up on this person as well. The hurt that has gone back and forth and gaping holes that will one day be restored. This story isn't over though. After 22 long years or praying, watching, praying, loving, praying, encouraging.. our God is faithful even we are not faithful. This loved one is back with our Papa. They are seeking him with many questions and they are in love with Him. God is constantly showing me that he doesn't work on our timing. He works in His timing. He shapes and molds and is constantly teaching us, even when we are stubborn. Can't we all agree that we are stubborn often times. No matter what the sin is, whether great or large in our eyes, it is all the same in God's eyes. I am rejoicing with this person as they are continually seeing God in their life. Continually being drawn closer to Him. We all stumble, we all fall, we all struggle, we all sin. God has shown me that he never gives up on His children, na matter how far they want to hide or run away from Him. He will go to great lengths to bring his children back to him. What JOY! Praises! Praises to our Papa who shows us no partiality. Who shows us great mercy. Who loves us enough to let us make our own mistakes only to use those mistakes to bring Glory and honor to His name!! Tears of joy for the loved one who has come back to our Papa!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ65aNv28Jc
I know that I've shared this song before. But I just wanted to use it again. I am constantly failing God in all that I do. But because of God's Grace, patience, love, and sacrifice, He will always be there to pick me up, dust me off, and put me back on the right path. I fail in the area of partiality. I've not seen it until now and am working on changing it, but only with God.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FribXzqHVE
In Christ Alone
How Deep the Father's Love for Us
I know! A lot of links! I hope you are able to take the time to listen to them. I think they are amazing!
I GOT IT!
A few weeks ago, I was watching something online.. yes, I know, cheating on the 40 days. But that leads to how I got it. So a few weeks ago, I was watching something online about adoption. God has always placed a special spot in my heart for adoption, unfortunately, it just hasn't worked out to do it. I sat and just wept. I mean that deep down, bottom of your stomach weeping. I was weeping for a child that I know God has out there for us. I sat on my bed trying to compose myself enough to read God's Word. I sat there trying to pray and I just couldn't focus. So I put the radio on, hoping to get more focused on God. When the radio turned on, JJ Heller's song, "What Love Really Means" was on right at the part where God is supposed to be speaking,
"Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said “I know you’ve murdered
And I know you’ve lied
And I've watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’re listening I’ll, I'll tell you that I...”
I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love, the love that you never knew."
Immediately after hearing that, they had their verse for the day which was 2 Chronicles 7:14 which says, "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." God was showing me that my pride and selfishness over the last well, 27 years of my life is my downfall. He was telling me that only by humbling myself before him will I succeed in Him. The last year since leaving Korea has been a huge challenge for me. I felt that God wasn't talking to me anymore. I felt angry and really discontent and I honestly felt as though God had a reason all of that was happening. That He had great plans for my discontentment. Well, He did have plans, but not what I thought, as usual. When I started this 40 day adventure, I didn't really expect to be taken in this way. Before I started this, a friend of mine mentioned that even though God wasn't speaking to me in the way He always has, He was still speaking to me in this totally different way. So I sat and thought about that as I was crying on my bed. Was I that stubborn that God had to use drastic measures and go as far as speaking to me differently than He usually does because I wasn't listening? How could I show God that I was following Him and that He was number one in my life when I couldn't even complete a full 40 days without going online and watching shows? Even farther, How on earth could He entrust us with another child, at some point in our lives, if I didn't humble myself and really have Him as number 1? (side note, it's a desire of mine since high school and there's no plans as of right now to adopt) Not as though God is like that, but that's how I think. I love God with all of my heart and desire after a relationship with Him. And I know that if you are willing, He will use you. You don't have to be in this awe-inspiring-reading-your-Bible-everyday relationship with Him to be used by Him. All He asks is for you to be willing. Of course He wants to me to read His word and know Him and have a relationship with Him. I'm not trying to minimize that at all. God is so awesome! The last however many days has been an eye opener. I am prideful and selfish and really have me as number one. The challenge now is to change it. I can't change it without God. I am constantly putting on His patience, His strength, His love, His understanding, His eyes. I know that my Papa loves me and will go to great lengths to reach me, to help me see, help me hear, and help me stay close to Him. I am so thankful that He showed me that I needed to take a break from all the distractions in my life so that I could finally hear him speaking to me again. I am so in love with my awesome and amazing God who comtinues to shape me and mold me!
"Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said “I know you’ve murdered
And I know you’ve lied
And I've watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’re listening I’ll, I'll tell you that I...”
I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love, the love that you never knew."
Immediately after hearing that, they had their verse for the day which was 2 Chronicles 7:14 which says, "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." God was showing me that my pride and selfishness over the last well, 27 years of my life is my downfall. He was telling me that only by humbling myself before him will I succeed in Him. The last year since leaving Korea has been a huge challenge for me. I felt that God wasn't talking to me anymore. I felt angry and really discontent and I honestly felt as though God had a reason all of that was happening. That He had great plans for my discontentment. Well, He did have plans, but not what I thought, as usual. When I started this 40 day adventure, I didn't really expect to be taken in this way. Before I started this, a friend of mine mentioned that even though God wasn't speaking to me in the way He always has, He was still speaking to me in this totally different way. So I sat and thought about that as I was crying on my bed. Was I that stubborn that God had to use drastic measures and go as far as speaking to me differently than He usually does because I wasn't listening? How could I show God that I was following Him and that He was number one in my life when I couldn't even complete a full 40 days without going online and watching shows? Even farther, How on earth could He entrust us with another child, at some point in our lives, if I didn't humble myself and really have Him as number 1? (side note, it's a desire of mine since high school and there's no plans as of right now to adopt) Not as though God is like that, but that's how I think. I love God with all of my heart and desire after a relationship with Him. And I know that if you are willing, He will use you. You don't have to be in this awe-inspiring-reading-your-Bible-everyday relationship with Him to be used by Him. All He asks is for you to be willing. Of course He wants to me to read His word and know Him and have a relationship with Him. I'm not trying to minimize that at all. God is so awesome! The last however many days has been an eye opener. I am prideful and selfish and really have me as number one. The challenge now is to change it. I can't change it without God. I am constantly putting on His patience, His strength, His love, His understanding, His eyes. I know that my Papa loves me and will go to great lengths to reach me, to help me see, help me hear, and help me stay close to Him. I am so thankful that He showed me that I needed to take a break from all the distractions in my life so that I could finally hear him speaking to me again. I am so in love with my awesome and amazing God who comtinues to shape me and mold me!
4/16/2011
More Cakes..
Wow! I am tired! 3 Birthday cakes and over 100 cupcakes! I have to say that I had fun making these. The characters.. well.. I had a tough time making them the next day after the fondant sat overnight. It just didn't work the same as when I do it on the same day. Anyway. The kids that these were for really liked them, so that is good. The one was like, "What Pokeman is that?" lol. I was like, "I'm sorry, I tried." It was kind of funny. I think I need a nap! I was up Thursday night until 1 and last night.. well, this morning.. I was up until 3:30 finishing everything. Now I get to focus on Munchkin's birthday party next weekend!
4/14/2011
Halfway There!
Probably not what you were thinking.. but we are halfway done with Hunny being deployed! Yay! Last night the kids and I and a friend and her kids went to our Battalion's Halfway Party! Wow! That was crowded and definitely a Friday night thing. It was fun though. We came and they had a slide show going, which I got to see a picture of Hunny! That never happens. Then they had Daddy Dolls for the kids and buttons you could make. Then they had popcorn and subs and cake and nachos. Then they had where you could draw a picture or do your hand print and they would laminate it with tape so the kids can send it to their deployed parent. There was an Easdter bunny and bags with candy they passed out. There was even face paingint, but we didn't get that done. It was a really neat idea this party. We had a great time! We are definitely looking forward to R&R and coming home! We love you Hunny!!!
4/09/2011
Enjoying the Beautiful Weather...
After we spent all day going through the toys in the toy room, Gabe's room, and the girls' room. :)
We had a great day today!
3/31/2011
Being the Hands and Feet of Jesus and Touching the Hem of Christ's Robe
I've been hearing these two phrases a lot lately and they have me thinking about what they really mean. Let's start with the first one.. Being the Hands and Feet of Jesus. What does that mean? Well, it's easy to be the hands and feet of those people we love and cherish. Ok, maybe not always easy, but it's easier than someone we don't like. Right? I'm pretty sure though, that Jesus ministered to those who weren't always socially accepted, extremely wealthy, or even dressed nice for that matter. Now, Jesus did minister to everyone. An example of this would be the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus isn't leaving anyone out while he is teaching. He wants all of use to hear his words and to have that relationship with him. Take the woman at the well. We've all heard it before that she was a, well, woman of the night so-to-speak in better terms. It would have been socially unacceptable for Jesus to be talking to this woman. Yet, despite her past, or present, God knew her future. Despite all the critcism Christ would maybe get for talking with this woman, no person is worthless in the eyes of Christ. Christ reached out to the needy, the hungry, the poor, the adulterers, the lame, the sick, etc. When we think of being the hands and feet of Christ, we need to know what that really means. It means, to be the hands and feet of Christ. lol. It means to reach out and show the love of Christ not just to those who are in our "circle of friends", but also to those who you probably wouldn't even think of being friends with. To those who the world would consider socially unacceptable. In blessing others, you are in turn blessing yourself as well. Not as though that should be the only reason we are reaching out. lol. The Bible tells us in Ephesians 5:1-2 that we are to be like Christ. We are to immitate him. I think that even within the church there needs to be some reaching out of our comfort zones. How many people come into a church for the first time and are never once met with a friendly face? Now I am not trying to make people feel guilty here. I am not about that. Guilt-driven service is just not right. (meaning where someone makes you feel guilty to where you serve out of guilt and not out of your own heart and desire) I am passionate about serving. It is my love language. I love to offer up babysitting or offer up to bring food or do small things or big things. For a long time I wanted to glory. I wanted the attention for all the good things I was doing. Through A LOT of humbling, I've actually been enjoying being in the background. I don't like the attention, I don't like the praise, and I don't like what it does to me. It makes me prideful. In reality, it doesn't matter who sees it and what kind of praise you get for whatever because the only one it really matters to is God. Doing it for praise purposes kind of defeats the purpose and elevated self instead of God. Something God is working on with me. I fall into old habits, but am quickly reminded who it's really for. There is that pride word again, but that is for another post. lol. Ok, back to being the hands and feet of Christ. Christ didn't care who saw him talking to who or what people thought about him. He was with the begger, the tax collector, and many others. Honestly, if you look at his lineage, it really doesn't surprise me. He comes from a line of everything under the sun, from murderer to harlet. To me, that is awesome. Anyway, I just wanted to encourage all of you to take some time and really pray about how you can be the hands and feet of Christ. Take some time out of your day to drop cookies at your fire department or police department. Take some time to invite a stressed out mom over for lunch, to the park, or just to come over to your own messy house, just so that she can have an adult conversation. Reach out to the kids in your community or to the elderly couple living next door who needs help with different things. Write your pastor a note of encouragement. Anything! Whatever abilty God gave you, use it to serve him and bless others. You never know how God will use you to plant a seed while being His hands and feet.
Touching the hem of Christ's robe. I hear that and I immediately think of the woman that bled for 12 years. She was living outside the city because in those days a woman was found to be unclean while she bled. So for 12 long years, she was untouched because she was unclean. She had heard of this Jesus who was coming and she, in total and complete faith, just wanted to touch the hem of Christ to be healed. What great faith this woman had. The longing, the desire just to touch her Savior fully knowing she would be healed. I won't go fully into the story, but I think of her faith. She went to this crowd around Christ just be able to touch the hem of his clothes. I think of how often I fail to even come to Christ in prayer for something that is going on. I fail to even believe that Christ will answer my prayers. Imagine how our lives would be if we just had faith that He will take care of us. We like to worry about how we are going to get this or that and how this will work out. Guilty. The Bible tells us to be "anxious for nothing" in Matthew. We are to come to Christ, trusting and knowing that he will answer our prayers. It might not come out how we were thinking, but then again, I have found that none of the "plans" for my life have come out how I really wanted them too or thought they should for that matter. I have to admit that it's hard to come to Christ and have a deep, intimate relationship with Him when you have doubt, pride, anger, jealousy, and the list goes on. God recently has been showing me that I have a pride issue. No, not just a pride issue. I have an enormous pride issue. Pride comes into our lives very subtly until one day, we think we don't need Christ. We think that we have it all and that we are doing it on our own. The truth is that God and God alone gave us that ability, that wisdom, that knowledge, well, everything. It's funny how quickly we forget who we came from or where our talent is from when a little compliment comes our way. I used to throw myself into positions that would get praise. And sometimes it wouldn't even be that. It would be a random note of encouragement telling me how godly of a woman I am and how this person really admires me, etc, etc. Funny how a few innocent comments could fill up my head. This made me feel good. This made me think that "Why yes, yes you are right. I am pretty amazing!" Sad, but true. Then this intense pressure to maintain those compliments becomes very stressful. If I stop getting those compliments, then I must be failing. It's so hard to have all of that pressure on you! Oh wait, it isn't about me. That's right. There is no pressure to be like Christ when everything you do is for His praise, His glory, and His honor. It's amazing how a small compliment can quickly, no rapidly destroy a person's relationship with Christ. Now that is not to say that we shouldn't be encouraging each other or lifting each other up in Christ or paying a nice compliment. What the person does with it is completely on them and God will deal with them. Satan is tricky, very tricky. I think that through the ladies Bible study and Sunday School, I have been learning more and more of how real Satan really is. Not as though I didn't believe before, just real as in, how much he is really really attacking us at every corner. He doesn't want us to seek after God. To desire God. To love God. To grow in God. Satan is not interested in us and does not care about us. We are just pawns in his battle with the Lord, and he will try and try and try and never give up to keep us from touching the hem of Christ's robe. Satan never gives up, which should drive us even more to deepen our relationship with Christ. It should kind of give us a stick-it-to-him type attitude toward Satan. Ok, probably not a good reason to grow closer to God just to get back at Satan, but really, sometimes that is just what I want to do. Kind of say, "What are you going to do now Satan? Bring it!" Yeah, probably not the best attitude. lol. But God did create me this way... just sayin'. lol. Ok, enough being sassy. ;) Touching the hem of Christ seems like it is so hard to accomplish, but it's not. You want to be blessed in touching Him. The Bible tells us, Seek and ye shall find. Knock and it shall be open to you. (paraphrasing) All we have to do is seek after him and trust him and we will touch the hem of Christ's robe.
Touching the hem of Christ's robe. I hear that and I immediately think of the woman that bled for 12 years. She was living outside the city because in those days a woman was found to be unclean while she bled. So for 12 long years, she was untouched because she was unclean. She had heard of this Jesus who was coming and she, in total and complete faith, just wanted to touch the hem of Christ to be healed. What great faith this woman had. The longing, the desire just to touch her Savior fully knowing she would be healed. I won't go fully into the story, but I think of her faith. She went to this crowd around Christ just be able to touch the hem of his clothes. I think of how often I fail to even come to Christ in prayer for something that is going on. I fail to even believe that Christ will answer my prayers. Imagine how our lives would be if we just had faith that He will take care of us. We like to worry about how we are going to get this or that and how this will work out. Guilty. The Bible tells us to be "anxious for nothing" in Matthew. We are to come to Christ, trusting and knowing that he will answer our prayers. It might not come out how we were thinking, but then again, I have found that none of the "plans" for my life have come out how I really wanted them too or thought they should for that matter. I have to admit that it's hard to come to Christ and have a deep, intimate relationship with Him when you have doubt, pride, anger, jealousy, and the list goes on. God recently has been showing me that I have a pride issue. No, not just a pride issue. I have an enormous pride issue. Pride comes into our lives very subtly until one day, we think we don't need Christ. We think that we have it all and that we are doing it on our own. The truth is that God and God alone gave us that ability, that wisdom, that knowledge, well, everything. It's funny how quickly we forget who we came from or where our talent is from when a little compliment comes our way. I used to throw myself into positions that would get praise. And sometimes it wouldn't even be that. It would be a random note of encouragement telling me how godly of a woman I am and how this person really admires me, etc, etc. Funny how a few innocent comments could fill up my head. This made me feel good. This made me think that "Why yes, yes you are right. I am pretty amazing!" Sad, but true. Then this intense pressure to maintain those compliments becomes very stressful. If I stop getting those compliments, then I must be failing. It's so hard to have all of that pressure on you! Oh wait, it isn't about me. That's right. There is no pressure to be like Christ when everything you do is for His praise, His glory, and His honor. It's amazing how a small compliment can quickly, no rapidly destroy a person's relationship with Christ. Now that is not to say that we shouldn't be encouraging each other or lifting each other up in Christ or paying a nice compliment. What the person does with it is completely on them and God will deal with them. Satan is tricky, very tricky. I think that through the ladies Bible study and Sunday School, I have been learning more and more of how real Satan really is. Not as though I didn't believe before, just real as in, how much he is really really attacking us at every corner. He doesn't want us to seek after God. To desire God. To love God. To grow in God. Satan is not interested in us and does not care about us. We are just pawns in his battle with the Lord, and he will try and try and try and never give up to keep us from touching the hem of Christ's robe. Satan never gives up, which should drive us even more to deepen our relationship with Christ. It should kind of give us a stick-it-to-him type attitude toward Satan. Ok, probably not a good reason to grow closer to God just to get back at Satan, but really, sometimes that is just what I want to do. Kind of say, "What are you going to do now Satan? Bring it!" Yeah, probably not the best attitude. lol. But God did create me this way... just sayin'. lol. Ok, enough being sassy. ;) Touching the hem of Christ seems like it is so hard to accomplish, but it's not. You want to be blessed in touching Him. The Bible tells us, Seek and ye shall find. Knock and it shall be open to you. (paraphrasing) All we have to do is seek after him and trust him and we will touch the hem of Christ's robe.
3/29/2011
Day.. um.. again, bad with math..
Today was a good day! I went on a field trip with Abbi's Kindergarten class to Porters Maple Bush Farms. I think that's what it was called. lol. It was really neat to see and hear how Maple is made. when we got there, we all unloaded and got a buddy.. as you can see to the left, I don't think the buddy system worked all too well. The kids all just wanted to run! It was a bit chilly today, so maybe they wanted to stay warm. lol. Abbi was supposed to be my buddy. :) As we were walking to get to the
grove, there were a few trees that had the buckets attached. This wasn't a very good week for collecting sap. The weather has been really cold and they haven't heated up the evaporator thing in a week! There were a lot of Maple trees, but the one we looked at was the largest. That was barely had any sap coming out of it. The sap that was in the buckets was frozen! It was crazy. The biggest maple tree that the man showed us was his favorite. He didn't quite
grove, there were a few trees that had the buckets attached. This wasn't a very good week for collecting sap. The weather has been really cold and they haven't heated up the evaporator thing in a week! There were a lot of Maple trees, but the one we looked at was the largest. That was barely had any sap coming out of it. The sap that was in the buckets was frozen! It was crazy. The biggest maple tree that the man showed us was his favorite. He didn't quite go into why it was his favorite, but as I looked at it, I could see why
it would be his favorite tree. This tree was enormous! Hunny has been to the redwood forest, so this is not really huge in comparison. It was large to me though, and I can imagine, large to the kids. lol. Tall and mighty was this tree. It stood tall and proud with wounds from battle with nature and weather, but still it stands. Reminds me of how great and mighty my God is. How he is always standing firm with us through every trial, every struggle, and every tear. He cannot be moved, tore down, or swayed when the going gets tough. So as we continued towards this tree, I noticed that there were at least 4-5 buckest already hanging from this mighty tree. Wow! So date, they already have made 360 jugs of syrup, which for a small company like this with 1000 trees tapped for collecting, that is really good. The collecting the sap process was explained to me later... 
The best time for the sap to be collected is before the buds on the tree come. The sap, depending on the weather, travels up the tree, but then as it gets colder, goes back down the tree. When the buds start to come, all the sap goes directly to the buds to help them grow and then you can no longer tap a tree to collect sap. I am sure there is more to it and he did explain it a bit better than I can. lol. Here are a few pictures of his tapping a tree to show us how the sap is collected and how it comes out of the tree... 
It was a very cool process that the kids thought was really cool. :) Or at least they thought it was cool that "water" was coming out of the tree. Then they all had to put their hands under it and let it drip on their mittens. Of course they had to lick it too! After he was done showing us how to tap a tree, the kids let loose a bit and played for a few minutes before heading back to where they actually made the maple.
After some playing in the saw dust, Oops! we headed back to the place they made the syrup. And of
course, no field trip is complete without a few class pictures! lol. I did take a couple, but I will spare you all of them. I didn't really have a good one of the kids, but this is the best out of all of them. Trying to round them up after running back from the grove was a lot of fun too! All this fresh air and wide open spaces to run around and get some energy out, who wants to sit still for a picture?! lol. It was good though. We did finally get some pictures and then it was time to head into the building behind the class. Once everyone was all lined up, we were able to head inside, but not before a few more details first. At the front of the 
line, you'll notice a very large 55 gallon barrel to your left. Then you'll notice the 1 gallon jug of maple syrup that the man is holding up. In the 55 gallon barrel, there is sap. I didn't get a picture of a huge tank that holds 2000 gallons of sap, which wasn't even the biggest tank they had! The biggest one was inside the building, but we didn't get to see that one. So, back to the little 55 gallon barrel. It takes one 55 gallon container to make 1 gallon of syrup. Yes, you heard me! That is so crazy! So.. then it was time to head inside. Once inside, there was a huge machine that is used to heat up the sap and evaporate the water inside the sap. In evaporating a lot of sap, you get the maple syrup. Depending on the season and just the right weather, you can get different thicknesses and different colors of syrup. Some people like the real light syrup which I believe is the fancy syrup. It goes all the way from light to
different shades of dark. The picture to the right is of the machine that evaporated the water from the sugary stuff inside the sap, making syrup. He then went on to say that if you heat up the syrup to where it is too hot, then it crystalizes. This is what makes maple candy. Yes, I did try one because I didn't want to be rude. I know that I am fasting from sweets and desserts, but I made an exception. It was seriously ALL sugar! Way too sweet for me and too sweet for some of the kids. After he was all done explaining and going through the whole making syrup process, the owner came out with little cups of syrup. Really now!? So everyone got a cup of warm syrup. Yum! It really was delicious and sweet. I took a sip of Abbi's. So as we are standing there, Abbi takes a sip and says, "Mom, this tastes just like syrup!" I was like, "That's because it is, silly. They make it here." (Abbi) "They MAKE it here!" Really? Was she not paying attention? ahahahahah I laughed a little because the man seriously JUST got done explaining everything. lol. So I explained it to her in a more understandable way and a shorter version too. :) She makes me laugh a lot!
All in all, we had a great trip! We got a surprise when we found out we were able to go up to the owners house and see some baby pigs that were just born a few weeks ago! A great end to a really great day! Best of all, I got to spend some more time with Abigail!
3/24/2011
Songs
The last 2 songs I posted are my songs right now. Besides This is the Stuff by Francesca Batechelli or however you spell it. These songs are so amazing. Grace is just a humbling song. It's like a prayer to my Papa. A prayer of offering myself to him to do as he wants, despite my many failures. Closer is my desire to obviously be closer to God. These are my prayers to my Papa!
3/19/2011
Cakes
Seeing as I doubt the assistant pastor is going to be reading my blog any time soon.. here are some pictures of the cakes I made for the church for his 10 year anniversary at the church..
I think they turned out pretty cool. :)
Oh Church..
Oh church how you sadden me. Once again I read of hurt inside the church by other believers and my heart just sinks. I know that we are human, and I really do understand that the only one that won't hurt us, disappoint us, or fail us is God. I know that. But church, oh church. We are failing each other. I remember the church failing my family when I was a young child at the time they needed the most love and support. All that was given was judgment and rejection. We as believers take it into our hands to be the judge and executioner when the Bible clearly states that vengeance is the Lord's. God tells us that if there was a wrong done, He will make it right or will take care of it. I remember that while I was in college I had attended a Baptist church that was quite small really, but I went with my mentor as I didn't know the area all too well. Anyway, I became friends mostly with some of the guys in the church because well, I tried to be friends with the girls, but they rejected me. Fast forward about a year after leaving the college to get married and move way far away to NY. I found out of an accusation that was completely and utterly not true all started from one of the guy's sister because she honestly didn't like me. Do you know what that false accusation did to the church?! The church split in two! The consequences for our actions are often not thought of before hand and the repercussions are great and disastrous. Friendships break, churches split, people turn against God in anger, and Satan wins the battle. Church, we are to be unified in Christ. Despite how we feel about someone, what we think they've done, or just the fact that they don't seem to 'fit' in being a Christian. We are the body of Christ. We are to like Christ. We need to be the hands and feet of Jesus. If we see another believer or non-believer, we aren't supposed to gossip and spread rumors. Talk to that person. Come along side that person and help them! We as a church need to get out from our own comfort zone of selfishness and pride and extend the hand of Jesus to one another. Love each other with the love of God. After all, if Christ treated us the way we treat others, I'm pretty sure he would have given up on us a long time ago. The world would be more lost than they are now and there would be no hope of a future in Christ. I am thankful that my God loves me unconditionally. I am glad that he is patient with me while he is shaping and molding me. I am glad that he doesn't reject me when I sin. I am incredibly, incredibly thankful that He is God and I am not.
3/17/2011
3/16/2011
Day... I have no idea
I always was bad at math... and still am. :) So the last few days have been fine with no tv, FB, or sweets. It's funny because I've tried to cut back on all of those things seperately and have never been able to do it. I always cave in shortly after starting. So when I felt God was nudging me.. no no, he was flat out showing me to do this for 40 days, I couldn't refuse. I have to say, that this isn't all about just giving up something for Lent for me. This goes far deeper than just the material things of FB, TV, or sweets. For me, this is about selfishness and pride. Can I say too.. God definitely has confirmed this to me too. Since before making the decision to give something up for Lent, God has been talking to me. Now, normally when God has talked to me, it's been through me feeling it in my heart. Like, "I know God wants me to do this because my heart gets all fuzzy and I can just feel him." Can't always say those "feelings" were directly from God or whether they are just me being overly pasionate about something. This time, however, has been different. God is changing me and changing the way he speaks to me. Now, it's taken me a while to realize this until a friend pointed out it out. Since leaving Korea, I've felt as though I have been talking to the ceiling or standing waving my arms saying, "Hello!? I'm here Lord! Please just speak to me!" So desperately have I wanted to hear God speak to me the way I know he can only do. While waiting and waiting, I've not been able to see God still speaking to me, just differently. So, once again I was on my knees calling out to God a few months ago. I was boldly asking God to change me because I didn't like who I was without Him honestly being the center of my life. If it was a decision between watching tv and reading God's Word, tv won. I'd fill myself with sweets because I felt that void of having God near. I'd sit and be complacent in my parenting and just in life all around and drown out reality with FB. God was speaking to mea few weeks ago and revealing to me what needed to be changed. So, the day before I started Lent, I went to my MOPS meeting. Now hold on to your seats because God is so awesome! There were two ladies that spoke that day. One lady gave the devotional and one lady gave the talk for the day. Both of them, yes both of them, talked about selfishness. Thursday morning Bible Study we also talked about selfishness. Skipping ahead a few days to Saturday, I started reading Landmines by Charles Stanley. I got to the end of the first chapter and what do I see? Chapter 2: The Landmine of Pride. The next morning as I sat in church, Pastor's message was on Selfishness and Pride. Then again Sunday night service, he also talked more in depth about selfishness and pride. Wow. Wow. I am so thankful to be hearing God again. It makes me wonder what else I've missed because I was too busy worrying about myself and not being able to hear God how I know he always speaks to me. Because you know, it's not as though God is God and he can chose to speak to us whatever way he wants to! lol So, the last week has gone good. Of course the urge or desire to watch tv is still there or eat sweets or get on FB, but they all seem so much less important than what they were. I'm very excited to continue and see what else God has in store for me. What he's going to reveal to me or even just to mold and shape in pride and selfishness. Not to say that it's a check list, like, "Ok, worked on that. Check. Now what?" Not at all. I know that it's a continual process of being molded and shaped into who God wants me to be for Him. So, until next time..
3/12/2011
Day 3 er 4
Day three was good. We had a very busy day with school, the gym, running errands, and having a friend over. The kids and I played games and read a ton of books last night. It was a pretty good day. My patience kind of dwindled at the end of the night, but al in all, it was good. :)
3/10/2011
Day 2
Well, Day two is done. Check. Funny how that is still in my head, as if it's a countdown to being a slave again to FB, tv, and sweets. This morning I woke up and again, was able to get things done. I was actually early for Bible Study at my friend's house. Yay! :) Today, I had Hunny change my FB password and gave my tv cables to my friend to hold onto until Easter. Can I just say, it wasn't until tonight, where spending most of my day actually taking the time to clean up after dinner, looking up cake designs or just ideas for some cakes coming up, cleaning the kids rooms.. I noticed that it didn't matter what I enjoyed or what I like to do, it's not FB or tv or sweets that is the problem, it's me. Me. I love God and I long and yearn and desire to be near him. I look at my oldest daughter who's heart is so sensitive to God right now that she literally cries because she wants to be with Jesus. She had tears in her eyes as we sat last week and watched a movie about the birth, life, death, and Resurrection of Christ. She was so sad that He had to die for us, but was excited and was bouncing on the couch when he rose again and ascended to heaven. Anyway, the point is, I have that passion and desire, but no matter what I take out of my life, unless I change my priority to Christ, I am going to continue to struggle with placing things in front of God and my relationship with him. When the idea of practicing Lent was thought of, I was like, man I am going to get so much done. I'll have so much time to read a few books I've been wanting to read or get the house cleaned. lol. How interesting that in taking these other things out, I just think of a million other things to take their places. Today was an eye opener for me with that. And that just because I am doing this doesn't mean the kids are going to be perfect or that I am not going to struggle with yelling. Praying for wisdom on how to teach our little ones about a relationship with God and letting God shine through me to them. I've been encouraged to hear Sweet Pea talking about me reading my Bible and seeing the kids sitting and "reading" their Bibles. :) And listening to them singing Veggie Tale songs is really awesome too. I love listening to their little voices singing praises to God. There's just something about your own children praising God with you that just is so amazing. :)
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