Day... I have no idea

I always was bad at math... and still am. :) So the last few days have been fine with no tv, FB, or sweets. It's funny because I've tried to cut back on all of those things seperately and have never been able to do it. I always cave in shortly after starting. So when I felt God was nudging me.. no no, he was flat out showing me to do this for 40 days, I couldn't refuse. I have to say, that this isn't all about just giving up something for Lent for me. This goes far deeper than just the material things of FB, TV, or sweets. For me, this is about selfishness and pride. Can I say too.. God definitely has confirmed this to me too. Since before making the decision to give something up for Lent, God has been talking to me. Now, normally when God has talked to me, it's been through me feeling it in my heart. Like, "I know God wants me to do this because my heart gets all fuzzy and I can just feel him." Can't always say those "feelings" were directly from God or whether they are just me being overly pasionate about something. This time, however, has been different. God is changing me and changing the way he speaks to me. Now, it's taken me a while to realize this until a friend pointed out it out. Since leaving Korea, I've felt as though I have been talking to the ceiling or standing waving my arms saying, "Hello!? I'm here Lord! Please just speak to me!" So desperately have I wanted to hear God speak to me the way I know he can only do. While waiting and waiting, I've not been able to see God still speaking to me, just differently. So, once again I was on my knees calling out to God a few months ago. I was boldly asking God to change me because I didn't like who I was without Him honestly being the center of my life. If it was a decision between watching tv and reading God's Word, tv won. I'd fill myself with sweets because I felt that void of having God near. I'd sit and be complacent in my parenting and just in life all around and drown out reality with FB. God was speaking to mea few weeks ago and revealing to me what needed to be changed. So, the day before I started Lent, I went to my MOPS meeting. Now hold on to your seats because God is so awesome! There were two ladies that spoke that day. One lady gave the devotional and one lady gave the talk for the day. Both of them, yes both of them, talked about selfishness. Thursday morning Bible Study we also talked about selfishness. Skipping ahead a few days to Saturday, I started reading Landmines by Charles Stanley. I got to the end of the first chapter and what do I see? Chapter 2: The Landmine of Pride. The next morning as I sat in church, Pastor's message was on Selfishness and Pride. Then again Sunday night service, he also talked more in depth about selfishness and pride. Wow. Wow. I am so thankful to be hearing God again. It makes me wonder what else I've missed because I was too busy worrying about myself and not being able to hear God how I know he always speaks to me. Because you know, it's not as though God is God and he can chose to speak to us whatever way he wants to! lol So, the last week has gone good. Of course the urge or desire to watch tv is still there or eat sweets or get on FB, but they all seem so much less important than what they were. I'm very excited to continue and see what else God has in store for me. What he's going to reveal to me or even just to mold and shape in pride and selfishness. Not to say that it's a check list, like, "Ok, worked on that. Check. Now what?" Not at all. I know that it's a continual process of being molded and shaped into who God wants me to be for Him. So, until next time..