We all remember the story of Mary and Martha.. dear Martha is cleaning and cooking and doing everything to make Jesus' visit perfect. She wants him to have a good meal and enjoy sitting in their home without dust and bugs and garbage and anything else that may be dirty around the house. (not directly talking about my own house) All the while Mary is sitting on the ground listening to Jesus talk. Can you imagine what Martha was thinking though? "Oh there's that Mary again.. doing nothing as I do all the cooking and cleaning, again. She doesn't care how the house looks. She doesn't care if there is food on the table! If I don't do it, who will!?" Or she could have been thinking, "Oh I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be.." lol Praising and worshipping the Lord in her head. I'm not sure, and I don't want to add to God's word, but as women we can all imagine what was going through her head. Whether she was complaining or praising, she was still serving her Papa, her Lord.
Since I can remember, I have loved to serve. I love to help others and I normally do it joyfully! My heart screams Serve! It's just who God made me to be. When Hunny left for this last deployment, a switch went off inside of me. Call it survival mode, but I felt I needed to stay busy and serve, everywhere and everyone. Doing it all on my own, I might add, without seeking God. My intentions were good... A few months ago, the Lord started showing me that although serving others is a blessing, I need to be serving my family with the same joy as I do with others, and if I am not filled up and running on fumes, I can't give to my family what they need from me. The business of life and the need to serve, to feel needed overcame me this last year. So, over the last few months, I have pulled out of everything except church and Ladies Bible Study. God's been showing me that I have to be filled up with Him in order to give out to my family and that I need to be in His will while doing it. I have to also be filled up daily in Him by reading His Love Letter in order to be able to put on Christ and serve my family. It's not a slave type serving, but serving them out of love and obedience to God. There are days when I just don't want to clean the house, make dinner or get out of bed, but I do because I am serving my Papa. :) There are days when I just don't want to be understanding, loving, patient, kind, selfless, or anything remotely imitating Christ, but I am to put on Christ every day. It's challenging for me not to be out there serving in everything, but I have seen what it's like when I am running on fumes with my family. Yikes! But God is so good and I am also able to see the effects of me serving my family when I am full in Him. Outpouring to my family! I'd be lying if I said I was pleasant all the time and had healthy meals on the table and my house was always clean. That kind of thing is for Mrs. Cleaver. lol. I want to serve my Papa by taking care of the family and the house the Lord has provided to the best of the ability God has given me. I see that unattainable Proverbs 31 woman. I get intimidated by her at times. But God didn't make us all the same. He didn't make me to be this perfect woman who always does everything right. He didn't make me a robot. I am who He made me to be. He blew out the sand to find the jewel, a jewel I am still finding. I know that my Papa is shaping me and molding me into the woman, wife, and mother he wants me to be. So in saying all of that, this Martha is still serving, but taking a Mary approach. Because when you think about it, you can't fully serve until you are sitting at your Papa's feet.
10/23/2011
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