7 year itch.. or is it?

Monday marks our 7 year anniversary. Wow! As I sit here, I can't help but to think back on what was going on during those last 2 weeks building up to "The Big Day". Hunny had just gotten back from Germany and was taking leave so we could get married. We went to church, youth group, watched movies (an occuring theme in our marriage), pre-marriage counseling, did last minute preparations, had rehearsal, etc. The day of I had my hair done, make up on, dress on, and was ready to go down that aisle! I remember that as we prepared for the wedding, I had such high expectations or fantasies about what marriage was going to be like. I dreamed that we would never fight and if we did of course, we would have these long, heart-filled conversations to talk it out. Then we would kiss and make up and then the music would play and the lights would dim.. and cut. I dreamed that we would have lots of children, I would always stay at home, my husband would do the chores that well, men do. Our children would blissfully be playing together as they grew. Well, pretty much that everything would be peachy and fantastic all the days of our life. "I Do". What strong words for just being 3 letters. Did any of that happen the way I thought it would? No not really. God had a better plan for us. We said I do and as soon as we moved to our next duty station, well, I began to wonder.. "Who is this person I married?! I want to go home! I want my dad and mom!" God knew that I was going to need to be away from home so that I couldn't run to dad and mom everytime life got hard. Everytime my marriage got hard. Those expectations of what "Man Chores"are, yep, they are shared. How do you like that? I stay home, go to school and he can't even take out the garbage! It's not as though he is getting up at 5:15 to make it to PT in the morning and then has to put in a full day of working, not getting home until 6pm. Hmm.. Oh wait. I guess that reality and understanding doesn't come in til later. Rewind.. Man, I just can't believe it. Humph. (Back to my tantrum and fit). So, as the adjusting to each other continued, we moved and became pregnant with Munchkin. Aww.. By this time, things were going really great. We were working together as a team. Munchkin came and Hunny left shortly after to go overseas. Well, time to adjusting to him not being there. So, Mommy/Daddy emerged. Fastforward a year, Munchkin now almost 18 months and we now had a 2 month old. Wow, were we different people who didn't see eye to eye on anything and this person who I said "I Do" to, is not the same person. Of course I had not changed. I had not been unreasonable. I had not been disrespectful to my Hunny. I, I, I. Yep, I am doing just fine. So, as the horrible time of adjusting came and went, we were moving out of the military and were back to working as a team again. Over the next year and yet again, another baby later, we were moving back into the military, only, Korea was our next destination. While Hunny left for overseas again, God began to work on me. And boy, have we come a long way. I began to see my husband through God's eyes. Now, does that mean that things were perfect? Not at all, but God has been working on us. Korea was a great growing time for me to be planted and rooted in God. And as soon as the "checklist of fixing myself" was done, it was time to move again. Well, I worked on all of those one time, so I am good! Wrong! I had a hard time coming back to the states and took it out on my husband, my kids, and people around me. The church. Aweful. Then God started working on my husband. Let me tell you ladies. Stop nagging your husbands and just let God work! Do you really think that nagging at your husband is going to make them say, "Oh my goodness Honey! You are right! Oh how much I love you! Thanks for being SO persistant in showing me how wrong I am!" NOT! Pray, pray, pray! I am so guilty of nagging my husband to talk about his feelings or am so guilty of stepping in as my husband is disciplining. I am so guilty of constantly disrespecting my husband in a backlash of not feeling loved. I have learned so much the last 7 years that I tell you, during all the lows, it would have been easy to give up. I am so glad, however, that God holds us to our covanents to each other. Well, it had to have been all my husband's fault because he didn't show me this great fantisized love! Ladies, those romance movies are so dangerous. Do I still watch them? Yes, but with new eyes. Hello! They are movies! And somebody writes that stuff! Anyway, it's been 7 years of God continuing to show us grace as we stumble around trying to "get this marriage thing right". I think of all the changes that have gone on within my marriage because of God's timing. I think of how much I am in love with my husband and it's not because of the things he says to me, the things he does for me, or how he treats me. I am so in love with my husband because God has allowed me to look at Hunny through His eyes and not mine. My Hunny is so amazing. He works such long hours being overseas, yet again. He works hard to protect us, to protect this country. This deployment is different on so many levels. It's so amazing when you step back and just let God do what he does.. draw us to him. (amongst many, many other things). 
As I remember walking down the aisle, I had my veil, my dress, my arm in my daddy's arm. I remember laughing because if I had stopped laughing, I would have been crying. It's such a scary, yet exciting adventure this marriage thing. I remember the first thing I said to my soon to be husband.. "So, you got pulled over last night for doing doughnuts in the parking lot?" Man, I think I started off on the wrong foot there with my now husband. How foolish of me to be half scolding him on our wedding day. The beginning of a lot of "scolding" in our marriage. I remember us laughing about it, and it's still funny that he was doing doughnuts the night before our wedding. lol. My role as a wife isn't to take charge, change my husband, or take over my family. It's not to be the head of the house. I am commanded to respect my husband, whatever that is to him, I am to respect him. Whether I feel like it or not. Whether I think he deserves it or not. (Can you tell we are doing the Love and Respect book and workbook together?) It's true though, it is a cycle. Women, you want to feel loved by your husband? Show him respect. Ok, ok, putting my soap box away. :) Back to what I was saying... I remember not giving it a second thought as I walked down the aisle. As I got closer, I got more giggly. (as not to cry of course). I was SO excited to be marrying this man! This handsome handsome man who I knew loved me! I didn't know what was ahead of us as we stood there before God, our families, our friends. Total bliss came to mind a few times. :) We don't have all the answers and we certainly aren't always in bliss together. I can honestly say though, that as we are coming on 7 years tomorrow, I would still walk down that aisle.. no no, I would be running down that aisle as my future stood there waiting for me to get to him. 7 years later, I love him more right now than I did back then. I respect him more now than I did back then. I appreciate him now more than I did back then. I completely love him now more than I did back then. I love who he is in God and who God has molded him to be. I love his passion for Christ and his deep deep love for me. I love the way he encourages me. I love the way he makes me laugh. I love the way he loves me. 
So, with all this rambling.. where am I going with all this? Marraige is hard work. It's easy to give up and walk away. What's not easy is trusting God. It's not easy to trust that He will work things out. It's not easy to let your husband be who he is. It's not easy to be confronted with who you are and realize that you don't like who you are. It's not easy to take that and then change. It's not easy to stay together. It's not easy to be parents. It's not easy to parent differently but then come to a common ground. It's not easy to let your husband be the head of the house. There are a lot of set backs, a lot of changes, a lot of patience needed, a lot of unconditional love needed, a lot of unconditional respect needed, a lot, a lot of God being the center needed. So, do I feel that "7 year itch" that so many talk about? Not a bit. I love being married to my Hunny, even when it's the darkest of the dark. So, Happy anniversary to MY Hunny! The last 7 years of marriage have been nothing of what I had fantisized about as I walked down that aisle. There have been lots of ups and downs, but I would walk down that aisle a million times over if it meant I would learn the same lessons and be molded in the same way that God has molded you and I to be. You are amazing! You are my hero! I love you Hunny!!