Authentic FB Friends

Ah Facebook. What a great invention. You get to reconnect with kids you went to elementary school, middle school, and high school. You get to stay in touch (or stalk) current friends and family members. You even get to be FB friends with the popular kids who wouldn't dare be friends with you at any stage of school. You also get to keep an eye on friends putting your own advice in when you feel it's 'needed'. On top of all that, you get to tell about your very exciting life! Poke people, play games, post pictures, ah, Facebook. (or post blogs like me. lol) I'm guilty. I've fallen into the fad of Facebook, until something better comes along. Maybe someone should invent something called MySpace or something.. oh wait.. Anyway. My point is that Facebook can be deceiving. I of course really only want to post the good things going on in life. I want to post the pictures of the one time a month I get down on the floor and play with the kids. I want to brag about my husband and kids! Post funny things happening and post moving scripture or video or whatever. The truth is, we should be posting real life. Of course not, "I had a huge fight with my husband and he's a meanie head and is totally wrong and I'm right. So there." Not saying to post all that, but let's be real. I honestly have a hard time reading posts about awesome husbands when I am fighting with mine. I have a hard time reading about husbands coming home when mine is getting ready to leave. I have a hard time reading posts about babies when I secretly would love to have more. I have a hard time reading posts about something exciting going on in a person's life because I am struggling. The list could go on. I just think that FB only shows a glimpse of our lives, the good parts. I think that at times, it's challenging to read posts and not feel jealous. "She must have it all together!" or "Her husband brought home flowers for her. Why can't mine?" Yes, all thoughts I've had. I've had many more, but that would take too long. So with the great capability to reconnect with family and friends and people we've met once or twice or is a mutual friend of a friend, sometimes I'd just like to know that people struggle with the same thoughts and temptations and all of that as I do. Then maybe, just maybe, we could all help each other and be there for each other. Maybe, just maybe, we can have deeper friendships than just the FB friend. Maybe, just maybe we can have real authentic friendships. Friendships where we can be totally and completely raw and open with each other. So, I am challenged to be just that. I hope that I have not portrayed in any of my posts or pictures that I am this person who has it all together with a perfect family, perfect husband, perfect relationship with God, a person who has NO problems.. I truely did not mean to misrepresenting myself. I am no where near the person I want to be. Here are my struggles.. I yell, which I can honestly say, God has really really helped me with yelling. Everyone once in a while I'll give into the temptation to yell because it is just so much easier to yell and get your way rather than working it out with your kids and actually talking to them. Or rather finding a different way to motivate your kids. When I fight with my husband, I get really mad and don't talk to him and then I start to think of all the negative things about him instead of focusing on the positive. Then I get into a downward spiral and I get even more mad at him to where I can be mad for days! God's definitely been working on that one as well. My kids make messes and I don't clean them up. Of course I help with spills, but I don't clean my house but rarely. If you are planning on coming over for dinner and my house is clean when you get here, that means I cleaned before you got here. Don't peak in the closets though. lol. I always have clean clothes around the bedrooms in piles waiting to be hung up or put away. I'm not real big on playing with my kids all the time. Horrible, I know. Don't get me wrong, I love them and we do have fun together, but I just have a hard time getting on the floor and playing. I feel like a failure as a mom, wife, and child of God. I place my husband ahead of God at times. I jump into things without thinking. I often feel alone. I have really high expectations for church and friends and customer service, I mean really. I am greatly humbled by God. He is continuing to work on me everyday. Even some of the things mentioned above, God's already shown me that things need to change in me. I am not looking forward to my Hunny being gone, but I am really looking forward to being able to take this time to focus on my relationship with God, my husband, and my kids. I am also really excited to see how God is going to help me grow in him!! I am so needing that time with God. I am so needing to focus on changing me and continuing to grow in him daily. And yes, it's a process. A process in which I have seen many ladies go through and continue to go through in which I am greatly encouraged! SO I would have to say that even though it's hard for me to read about different things going on in people's lives, that's where God is changing my heart. :) I truely am excited for all the wonderful things going on in people's lives. I have to keep my thoughts in check and realize that FB isn't 100% of real life! All I have to do is  get off of FB and look around! lol! I love my God and I love my life. I love that He continues to show me the things that need to change in my life. He sure does have a sense of humor seeing as I never thought there was anything that needed to be changed in my life. :) We have some good laughs God and I. lol.