My One Comment On the Elections..

"The LORD had said to Moses, "Pharaoh will refuse to listen to you _ so that my wonders may be multiplied in Egypt." Moses and Aaron performed all these wonders before Pharaoh, but the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, and he would not let the Israelites go out of his country." Exodus 11:9-10 Munchkin and I were reading this last night during our devotions and as I read I had to reread it in my head. Over the last few weeks in Ladies Bible Study we have been going through Ezra. We have seen many times who ultimately holds the hearts of the leaders in the Bible and the leaders of today. We should be praying for our President and whoever will take office because ultimately their hearts are in God's hands. We don't know who will take office or what will become of our nation in the next 4 years, but we do know that our King, our Father is holding their hearts and our country in His hands and just as He did with Pharaoh "so that my wonders may be multiplied in Egypt" our Father has a much bigger plan for His children. One way or another, fast or slow, with Obama or Romney, our nation will fall. The more it falls, the closer it is to our Father coming and Oh! I can't wait! Pray. Pray without ceasing! 

Rewind Please

Have you ever had one of those mornings where you wake up thinking it's going to be a great day? Yeah, I woke up feeling that way today. I was a bit tired, but I got in the shower and got myself ready. Today is picture day for the kids, so the kids picked out their clothes last night and I had them ironed and waiting for them on the end of their beds this morning. I woke up one kid and got that one dressed without a problem. Sailed through it and headed to the next room. BAM! There it is.. the start of a very bad morning. Sassiness, me getting yelled at for turning on the lights, said child doesn't want to wear the clothes they picked out last night. Now I had a choice here. I had the choice to lovingly discipline my child or yell like a crazy person. You can guess which one I chose. The day before was a mess and I let the problems from the day before affect my reaction today. So, the morning is going on, no one is listening, I am getting more angry and frustrated because apparently being on time is against our religion and there they were, looking at spiders, procrastinating to get shoes and sweaters on, whining, crying, taking their time getting their hair ponies so I can do their hair, not looking for sweaters, the list just goes on. You know as moms, as the little things build up when you are in a time crunch, you get madder and madder and madder until all you want to do is explode and yell. So in the car we went almost 30 minutes later than when we usually leave. Now we can't get sea belts on or push our seats in. The kids are crying because mommy is crazy this morning and has lost her mind. While we are driving, I am going on and on about the morning and getting louder and louder as I can see spit flying from my mouth as I talk. Even as I write this I am ashamed of how I behaved. I sat there in the car fighting God. Fighting the urge to apologize to my kids. No, not excusing their procrastinating or excusing their tantrums also this morning, but apologizing for me. As I drove away after dropping the kids off, my thoughts then travelled to the events of yesterday. Spewing nasty comments and hurtful things I would say in my head all the while holding back the tears. I make it home, start packing a lunch for my Hunny and after finding out about my morning, he reaches over and hugs me. I couldn't quite stop the tears really. They just flowed down my cheeks. After he left for work, I grabbed my Bible and prayed and wept. No sobbed at my Papa's feet for forgiveness. I cancelled my plans for the morning and sat at His feet crying and reading His Word. Filling up on Him. This morning was a bad morning. I see the effects of me holding in words that need to be said and taken care of that day. My poor kids. They never saw it coming and either did I. I let my anger from yesterday become my weakness today. I am so thankful that God's mercies are new every morning. Even though I failed miserably this morning, I know that I can come to His feet and be renewed. I know that there are many moms out there who can understand my morning completely. When I would talk to moms a few years ago, I would always get the "Oh it's ok to yell sometimes. Then they know you mean business. Don't beat yourself up over it." I'm sorry, but I just don't agree with that. That kind of yelling is a reaction to anger and I can't just excuse it away. I really do wish that there was a rewind button out there. I would do my entire morning different. What if something had happened to me on my way home from school? Would I want my kids to remember their last morning with me as one like today? No thanks. I am thankful that I was able to come and sit at my Papa's feet this morning. I know that's exactly where I need to be. Sigh. Rewind please! 

You're Right.. I Do Choose This..

"Well, you did choose this and you did know what you were getting yourself into". It's a saying I have heard so many times from people who have never experienced the military life. That saying used to bug me so much and make me so upset! Well, it still does to a certain extent but a flash of pride shoots through me. "Yes, you are right. I do choose to support and follow the man that I love and that God has chosen for me. I do choose to continue to watch him leave and come back again. You are absolutely right. I do choose to stay and fight hard for my marriage. I do choose to take on being dad and mom at the same time. Taking on Mrs. Fix-it and being Nurse Mom at the same time. Adjust, adjust, adjust. No time to relax with the thoughts of the next deployment or the next training period in the back of my head at all times. Never able to fully relax and enjoy being home with my Hunny while I can relax and enjoy him, but you're right. I chose this. I am extremely proud of my soldier, and what an amazing soldier he is. I love being apart of the military where patriotism is a way of life that you take pride in, not even thought of as a choice. I know that life has it's ups and downs as well as marriage. God said tells us that in His Word. The military just adds that extra stress. I can't tell you how many nights I have gone to bed after midnight, how many birthdays or anniversaries or concerts or first sleep overs, first loose tooth, kid nightmares, or how many times I've sat and held my children while they cried themselves to sleep because they missed daddy. Or how many times I have heard them push their Build-A-Bears just to hear daddy's voice, over and over and over again. So if you ever run into a military spouse, offer a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Offer to watch her kids for a few hours so that she have some time to herself so she can be renewed and refreshed for her kids. Offer help and if she declines, do it anyway! She really wants the help but is too proud to say she needs it. Love her and her family unconditionally. The end. Rant over. 

A Donkey, A Stinky Stable, and A Savior

Over the last few weeks, God has been bringing to my attention (or banging me upside the head quite a few times) the real meaning of Christmas. Yes I know Christ's birth, but I guess I've never stopped to really fully focus on His birth. The last few weeks God has been showing me amazing things about Elizabeth, Mary, Joseph, and even the birth itself. Reflecting on my own pregnancies and others around me who have just given birth, I remembered just how uncomfortable I was. With each pregnancy it's as though I was bigger than the last. I remember that the bigger I got, the more uncomfortable I became. Can you imagine Mary, this young girl around 15, on this donkey traveling to Bethlehem? For not just a few hours, because as you can imagine how fast a donkey can walk, but for a few days, weeks. Ouch is all I have to say! lol Imagine though, as Mary and Joseph, tired from their journey, finally found a place to stay, this wet, dirty, smelly stable. Imagine Mary holding Jesus for the first time, looking into the eyes of her Savior. Our Savior. Oh what it must have been like to hold Him, snuggle Him, and love Him. All the events surrounding Christ's birth from Elizabeth getting pregnant at an old age, John the baptist jumping in her womb at the presence of Jesus in Mary's womb, to the donkey ride, humble stable birth to God telling Joseph to flee, stay in Egypt, and then flee again to Nazareth. What an amazing God we serve. I can't even imagine the love that He has for me. To look back on my own life and see where God orchestrated my own life. I've been reading a book and it just touches on how great His love for us is. This is Nancy Leigh DeMoss quoting Hannah Whitnall Smith, "Put together all the tenderest love you know of, the deepest you have ever felt, and the strongest that has ever been poured out upon you, and heap upon it all the love of all the loving human hearts in the world and then multiply it by infinity, and you will begin, perhaps, to have some faint glimpse of what the love of God is."Wow! All that and it's just a faint glimpse. I can't imagine how much God loves me, but I know that He does because He sent His Son to cover my sins, past, present, future, so that I will be able to be with Him in heaven. I am constantly blown away by what God is showing me. What an amazing God I serve. An amazing Papa. So as the rest of December comes to a close, I'll continue to reflect and ponder on what Christmas is all about. It's not the presents or the pressure to buy a present. It's not the prefect dinner or the "peaceful" day. It's about celebrating Christ coming down to earth in human flesh to die for me so that I don't spend an eternity without Him. Oh Papa. How overly joyful I am to know that I will not spend my eternity separated from You because of You.  

Hi. My name is Martha, and I'm a servaholic..

We all remember the story of Mary and Martha.. dear Martha is cleaning and cooking and doing everything to make Jesus' visit perfect. She wants him to have a good meal and enjoy sitting in their home without dust and bugs and garbage and anything else that may be dirty around the house. (not directly talking about my own house) All the while Mary is sitting on the ground listening to Jesus talk. Can you imagine what Martha was thinking though? "Oh there's that Mary again.. doing nothing as I do all the cooking and cleaning, again. She doesn't care how the house looks. She doesn't care if there is food on the table! If I don't do it, who will!?" Or she could have been thinking, "Oh I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be.." lol Praising and worshipping the Lord in her head. I'm not sure, and I don't want to add to God's word, but as women we can all imagine what was going through her head. Whether she was complaining or praising, she was still serving her Papa, her Lord. 
Since I can remember, I have loved to serve. I love to help others and I normally do it joyfully! My heart screams Serve! It's just who God made me to be. When Hunny left for this last deployment, a switch went off inside of me. Call it survival mode, but I felt I needed to stay busy and serve, everywhere and everyone. Doing it all on my own, I might add, without seeking God. My intentions were good... A few months ago, the Lord started showing me that although serving others is a blessing, I need to be serving my family with the same joy as I do with others, and if I am not filled up and running on fumes, I can't give to my family what they need from me. The business of life and the need to serve, to feel needed overcame me this last year. So, over the last few months, I have pulled out of everything except church and Ladies Bible Study. God's been showing me that I have to be filled up with Him in order to give out to my family and that I need to be in His will while doing it. I have to also be filled up daily in Him by reading His Love Letter in order to be able to put on Christ and serve my family. It's not a slave type serving, but serving them out of love and obedience to God. There are days when I just don't want to clean the house, make dinner or get out of bed, but I do because I am serving my Papa. :) There are days when I just don't want to be understanding, loving, patient, kind, selfless, or anything remotely imitating Christ, but I am to put on Christ every day. It's challenging for me not to be out there serving in everything, but I have seen what it's like when I am running on fumes with my family. Yikes! But God is so good and I am also able to see the effects of me serving my family when I am full in Him. Outpouring to my family! I'd be lying if I said I was pleasant all the time and had healthy meals on the table and my house was always clean. That kind of thing is for Mrs. Cleaver. lol. I want to serve my Papa by taking care of the family and the house the Lord has provided to the best of the ability God has given me. I see that unattainable Proverbs 31 woman. I get intimidated by her at times. But God didn't make us all the same. He didn't make me to be this perfect woman who always does everything right. He didn't make me a robot. I am who He made me to be. He blew out the sand to find the jewel, a jewel I am still finding. I know that my Papa is shaping me and molding me into the woman, wife, and mother he wants me to be. So in saying all of that, this Martha is still serving, but taking a Mary approach. Because when you think about it, you can't fully serve until you are sitting at your Papa's feet. 

Father Filtered and Sitting at Jesus' Feet

Recently we started going to a new church. I am so excited about the church we go to. They read straight through the Bible, book by book, chapter by chapter, verse by verse. So whether you are a young believer or an old believer, it doesn't matter. There's no topical messages, just God's Word. I have a few favorite sayings from the pastor.. "Everything is Father-Filtered" and "Come and sit at the feet of Jesus". 

 "Father Filtered". Just think about that a moment. Everything that happens to us has already gone through the Father. So the trials we are going through or the joys we are going through have all gone through the Father before they even touch us. What an amazing Father we have. A Father who will turn the tragedies into the triumphs. He's able to use both bad and good to bring glory to His name. For so long I looked at trials as burdens. I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had a "Why Me?" attitude. Then I learned about Father Filtered. I don't see the trials as burdensome. I look at the trials in my life and say, "What can I learn from this? How is God going to use me or grow me so that at the end He can use me to be a blessing to others?" Rejoice in the trials as well as the joys because we know that it's already gone through the Father. Which is why it makes sense then to Come and Sit at the Feet of Jesus. We can come to our Papa and sit at His feet in trials and joys alike because He already knows what's going to happen. He already knows what we are going to learn and how he is going to use it to bring us closer to Him. He knows how he is going to use our trials to reach others for Christ. So why not come to the Father, our Papa. When I think of sitting at Jesus' feet, I picture myself literally at His feet like Mary while she listened to His words. When I sit at His feet, I am relaxed, refreshed, and a huge sigh of relief or comfort washes over me. I can't quite find the words to describe it. It's like falling into the arms of my Papa as he whispers gently, "Papa has you. Everything will be ok". When I come to my Father, everything may be spinning around me, but with Him, it's as though nothing else matters except sitting at His feet, bathing in Him. I can imagine how Mary must have sat with an eagerness, a hunger while she listened and hung onto every word that Jesus said. It seems as though she just can't get enough of what Jesus is saying. That is what it's like for me when I come to my Papa, whether through my own time in the word or through listening to my pastor on Sundays, I just can't get enough! There's a peace and a joy that comes that even though the trials that I am going through or the joys I am going through are hard to understand, I know I can come and sit at my Papa's feet. I know that I can find that peace and joy through whatever comes because it's already been Father Filtered. Thank you Papa for providing a way for us to come and sit at your feet whenever we want to without having to go through another person to get to you. Thank you that I am able to be in your presence any time. Thank you for for the trials and joys that I go through because I know that by the end, I will be stretched and will be deepened in my relationship with you!!

Did you know that I am a Princess?

"All glorious is the princess in her chamber, with robes interwoven with gold. In many-colored robes, she is led to the king.. with joy and gladness they are led along as they enter the palace of the king." Psalms 45:13-15. 


I have to admit, I stole this verse from a friend's facebook page. I loved this vision though. I am God's princess. I am in beautiful clothing, being led to meet my Papa. I know as women, we don't always see ourselves as princesses. We get up, look in the mirror, look at our imperfect bodies from bearing babies, let out a sigh, and continue on our day wishing we could just lose that extra weight. Or we look in the mirror and see puffy, red eyes that have just got done sobbing because we have let our anger get to us one more time. For some reason, we have this view of who we are supposed to be like or what we are supposed to look like. We have the world's view of this woman who has it all together, can do anything, and still has time to have a fashion sense.
Psalms 139: 13-18 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of the sand. When I awake, I am still with you." 
How precious we are to our Papa. Our Savior. Our Redeemer. Our Master. Our Servant. Our Creator. How precious are we that He knit us together. He didn't just say, Poof! He took the time to gently create us, knowing every single day that we are going to live. He knows our strengths, our weaknesses, our faults, our strengths. He knows that we are going to fail. He knows we are going to succeed. He knows everything about us because He made us. He Made Us! We are so important to God. He loves us beyond what words could ever describe, so his actions said it to us. 
So the next time you look in the mirror, stand there with your head held high. Remind yourself that you are God's Princess. Remind yourself that you are clothed in Christ and that it's not the outside image that matters. It's not your capabilities that matter. What matters is that you are fully, completely God's princess, perfect in His eyes. Perfect just the way God made you.